How I Met Your Mother Season 0 Episode 1 - Real Bros Dot Com
by dreamalx
Summary: Barney and the gang saw a show called and "inspired" Barney to create one with Ted. Marshall, Lily and Robin went on to meet the stars of the Show.
1. Chapter 1

Real Bros Dot Com Part 1

So kids, there was one time me and your uncle Barney was in the bar, half naked, and covered in ketchup. Why? Let me tell you first why we were half naked.

It all started when your uncle Marshall told us about this cool website, . It's about two really big guys, talking non-sense and always fist-bumping each other every time one of them says the word "awesome", which they always say.

"Awesome, right?!" Marshall said, then fist bumping Lily.

"It's like a really upgraded version of Barney! Handsome, never yucky, and there's two of them!" Lily said.

"Fan alert. You guys know they read my blog." Barney said.

"You're right. They had to name the girl Robin." Robin added.

"Will you guys stop that? They're not really that awesome." Barney uttered.

Then all of us reached in to fist bump him.

The next day, Barney called me to the bar and asked me to help him with his Death Star life-size toy. Now remembering this story really makes me feel dumb. I mean, a Death Star? That's has like the size of a planet! So I went to the bar and…

"Carl! Can you call in the director please?" Barney said in a pleasing way while fixing the arm buttons of his suit.

"Barney? What the hell is this?" I asked.

McLarens changed. There were no stools, only our booth placed in center, there were also no customers, just a bunch of people taking care of cameras, lighting, audio, and a bunch of girls putting on make-up. It almost seemed like…

"An internet show!" Barney said in his usual voice.

"What? Wait, is this about the two big guys who always fist-bumps when they say the word awesome?" I asked and we fist-bumped.

"NO! And we'll never fist-bump again after the word awesome!" Barney said. And then Fist-bump.

"You know why I did this Ted?" Barney asked.

"I don't really want to…" And before I complete my sentence…

"You're right! It's about informing the poor, poor citizens of New York, the ones who've been lied, deceived about Bromanship, the true meaning of how to ride awesomeness." Barney said in a proud way.

"So do we still fist-bump in Awesomeness, or just awesome?"

Then we fist-bumped. I don't know if it was the awesomeness, or awesome, who knows.

"So what, we're gonna imitate their show?" I asked.

"No, those two bastards already cancelled their show." Barney said.

"What? Why? Marshall loved that show."

"Yeah… or more like loved those two." Barney said.

So we did the first episode of the show.

"Hello, ladies, gentlemen, and single ladies of New York City. I am Barney Stinson, at your service." Barney said. He also said "New York City" in a odd way, and he also winked at the end.

"This is my non-speaking friend Ted." Barney said, then immediately whispered yet loudly said to me…

"It's okay Ted, your wish is coming true."

So for short the show was awkward… especially at the end.

"So for our dear ladies… we are ending tonight's show with a boom!" Barney said.

"Really? Boom?" I whispered to him

"Ready? We are gonna take our clothes… wait for it…"

Then the lights turned off.

"OFF! YES! But of course with the lights on, CAARL!" Barney shouted every caps, and fast-talked every thing except for the caps.

I wasn't going to take my shirt off but one of the girls Barney hired looked excited. She was biting her lip, curling her hair, and most importantly, looking at me. So I won't disappoint her.

"You know what? Let's do this." I said to Barney.

"YES! So, ready? This is gonna be awesome!" High tone Awesome, classic Barney.

And so we did. Then Marshall, Lily and Robin went in the McLarens.

"Guys guys! You'd never believe what just happened!" Marshall said while holding a big bag of Ketchup. Then he tripped on one of the wires, and the bag exploded, covering us in Ketchup. Why was uncle Marshall holding a big bag of Ketchup? What was the thing that just happened? Well, we need to back up to the time Marshall told us the website of .


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 1 MISSING THE WORD " " **

Real Bros Dot Com Part 2

So where were we? Oh! Yes, the part where your uncle Barney and I got covered in ketchup part. So that goes back to when Marshall told us about the website .

"Well, I'm gonna head out. I'm meeting this hot client who wants me to design her stable, for her horses."

"Oh, no Teddy Ted Ted… you're not gonna design the stable. The stable is already there. You're, or she's just gonna destroy it to free your little horse and make love to it." Barney said.

"What? No."

"Well, the thought is nice, so imma give you that." Marshall said, then high fived Barney.

So I went out to meet this client. But nothing really happened. It turns out that this client is really into girls, so nothing much to talk about it.

"You know what, I've got an idea." Marshall said.

"I saw this address in their website, we could go there take pictures with them."

"Nope." Barney replied.

"Really? You don't want to bang that hot girl named Robin in the show?" Lily said.

"So what? I'm not hot anymore?" Robin uttered.

"You're right! Challenge…" Barney said.

"I was just asking really…" Lily said in a soft way.

"Accepted!" Barney said.

"Really? So this girl is the hotter Robin now?" Robin said, but no one seems to notice her.

So the three of them went to the address Marshall found. While at the front door…

"So what? What's the game plan? _Hi, we're your number 1, 2 and 3 fans!" _Marshall said the italicized words in his usual girl voice.

"Umm, umm… oh! Daddy's Home." Barney said.

"Even if the one who answers are the two guys from the show?" Lily said.

"Good point. Then you say it!" Barney said.

While arguing, Robin was trying to make herself hot, unbuttoning the first two buttons of her shirt, fixing her hair, stuff like that.

And while all that happens, one of the show's lead stars showed up. They didn't know what to do since they really don't have a solid icebreaker line.

"Daddy's home." Marshall said, while doing his creepy smile.

"Hi there, hot guy." Robin said.

"Ooh, who are you, sweet girl?" The guy from TheRealBros said.

"I'm Hotter Hotter Robin."

"Come in, come in. My name is Carter."

So they went in. Carter gave them drinks and talked with them.

"So you guys are fans of the show?"

"Yes." Everybody said is altogether, except for one who said…

"Please…" Barney said it.

"Well, you guys should read my blog. I got there how to get a girl say yes to a marriage proposal, how to cook her dinner, and how to make her feel special everyday." Carter said.

"The only words I understood there was _You guys should read MY blog, I got there how to get a girl say yes to make her FEEL special._ Well, the Everyday word works if she's a 9 or higher." Barney said.

"Oh, you're one of those guys." Carter said.

"Well, I know you came here to see Robin, but she's out of town. It's her birthday today."

"Oh wow, how old is she?" Lily said.

"Nice hustle team." Barney whispered to Lily.

"She's turning 45 tonight."

"Nooooooo!" Barney screamed while looking up.

"Sadly, she's also our producer, and she's resigning. Without her, our show will not work. We might cancel tonight." Carter said.

Everybody looked shocked. Then…

"I got to go." Barney said while still shocked, then he ran outside.

"Hey guys." The other guy on the show, showed up.

"Oh hey. This is Anthony." Carter introduced him.

"Hi Anthony." Everybody said. But Robin said it the flirty way while twisting her hair.

"You guys want some fries?" Anthony asked them.

So they all ate fries, then Marshall said.

"OMG, what's the ketchup? It's so delicious, I can just drink it."

"It's homemade. We sell it too, but since you guys are fans of the show, I'll give you a bag free." Anthony said.

"Oh, friends with business, nice." Lily said.

They Carter and Anthony laughed.

"Friends? Oh no no no, we're gay." Carter said.

"Whaaaat?" Robin said in her usual 'what' voice.

"Really?" Lily asked

"Yeah. We've been together for 10 years." They said while holding hands.

"Now I'm out." Robin now also went out.

"That doesn't change anything. We're still fans." Marshall said.

So the four of them hanged out. It almost turned into a double date. While your aunt Robin was smoking outside Carter's house, talking to a man he didn't knew.

"So, what's your name?" Robin said.

"George." The man said, while drinking his beer.

"Haha, like the one from Star Wars? What's his name?"

George looked really confused, and then he laughed.

"You mean George Lucas?"

"Yeah yeah, that guy." Robin said.

"I'm guessing you're not from here?"

"Canada."

"Oh, nice."

So the two of them talked, and then George had to leave. Moments later, Marshall and Lily went outside carrying two big bags of ketchup. So the three of them went to the apartment.

"Hey guys can I stay over?" Robin said.

"Of course you can." Lily said.

"I'm gonna take this one big bag of ketchup around me so I can always have the best ketchup ever." Marshall said.

That explains the ketchup. But seriously, why didn't he just put it a container? Marshall told to me in few years later that Carter said not to put it in a container; it ruins the flavor they said.

So they all went to sleep and the next morning…

"Robin's still asleep." Lily whispered to Marshall

"She must be really tired." Marshall said, while holding the big bag of ketchup.

"You're not really gonna let go of that? Last night, Ketchup was clearly the Lily." Lily said.

"It's tasty and it's from Carter and Anthony, so let it go."

Then Robin woke up.

"Hey sweety, you're so tired last night." Lily said.

"Yeah, I met this guy named George outside Carter's house. He had white hair and beard, also with glasses."

"Haha, sounds like Lucas." Marshall said.

"He did mentioned he wrote 6 films which was showed backwards…" Robin said, now getting what all just happened.

"You met George Lucas?!" Marshall said.

Then the Phone rang.

"Heller." Marshall answered.

"Hey Marshall, go down stairs, you guys should see our grand finale." Barney said.

"The hell, I have better news!" Marshall said.

Then they rushed downstairs, and you know the rest.

"Is this Ketchup?" I asked, and then took a taste.

"Wow, really good ketchup."

"Right? Right?!" Marshall said.

So we ended the show like that. It was a little bit awkward, really.

So we all went upstairs to have few drinks and relax.

"You really met George Lucas? And you never knew it was him till today?" I asked.

"Yeah." Robin said, and then we laughed.

"Hey, check this. Name of the show: Brochup." Barney said.

"How about Bros and the City?" I asked. What? I like Carrie.

"McBronalds." Barney asked.

And for the next 4 hours, we just rambled names for our show, and it was fun.


End file.
